The Williamsburg

There doesn’t seem to be enough hours in a day anymore, which is funny because I used to think there were too many hours in a day…until bedtime that is! Going back to work full time has been challenging, but not as challenging as it could be. Hollis has all but taken over as primary caregiver for the boys, with Ashley’s assistance. Between the two of them my return to the corporate world has been pretty much a breeze. Everyone is doing great! I love my work. I really believe I’ve found a good career fit finally. My contract ends next Friday, so I’m looking for my next gig now.

Meanwhile a few home happenings worth recording for history:

• Jadon lost two more teeth, the ones beside his newly emerged two front teeth. The first one he pulled out himself while riding in the back seat of the truck. All was quiet, then I heard “Mommy, I have blood on my hands.” I looked in the back seat and almost drove off the road! He looked like a vampire with a drinking problem. I do not know what that boy was thinking! He swallowed the other one.
• Caleb’s doing so well in school! They really work with his love for letters and numbers. In fact his teacher lets him sign in each morning by writing his own name.
• Last week was a busy week for folks, so Grandma Vern came to lend a hand. I guess she enjoyed herself because now she’s moving here! She should be permanently installed by Christmas. Now if only my sister and her family would move here, …
• Grace has finally stopped yelping at night THANK GOD. Who knew a puppy was like a newborn baby? We are going to visit her family back at the farm tomorrow for some training. She’s really smart. Hollis already has her obeying “sit” and “stay.”

To be continued … someday.

Hollis and I slept in this morning. In fact we did not get out of bed until almost 10 o’clock! I’m still amazed. I feel a newfound freedom in learning we can do this. Apparently with both boys in school, they’re a bit more low key in the evenings. We put them in bed and usually within minutes they’re asleep. Wonderful! And right now they get up early in the  morning without a hitch. Wonderful … Monday through Friday. Unfortunately they haven’t learned the difference in workday mornings and our Sabbath Saturday morning. So what that usually means is Saturday mornings both boys are up and at ‘em around 6-6:30. And once they’re up, that’s it. We’re all up whether we like it or not. Hollis and I have to take turns getting more sleep throughout the day. This has been our life for almost six years now … until TODAY.

Today when Caleb woke up at 6, without even fully understanding where my legs were taking me, I got him something to drink with a bit of melatonin mixed in with it. He’d fallen asleep without taking it the night before and in my sleep-lusting stupor I just gave it to him this morning. About an hour later he was snoozing peacefully again, but then Jadon got up. He’s easy though; he happily came downstairs by himself to watch his favorite movie (this week). Later when Caleb got up again, and when I finally woke up fully to look at the clock, I was … I was … I don’t know a word that can completely describe the intensity of disbelief I experienced at that moment. It was 9:45 AM, and I was awake not because I had to be. No, I was awake because my eyes popped open, because I’d gotten enough sleep. Wow! It’s been so long. It was a good morning. You know it had to have been; I’ve just spent over 300 words describing it. And now it is again time to go back to that wonderful place–to sleep, perchance to dream. G’night.

So this has been an eventful week. Last weekend we were in SC for two days with Hollis’ side of the family. It was a joyous family reunion with all his aunts and uncles and with his grandmother, Big Ma. I love Big Ma. She’s the sharpest, most progressive great-grandmother I know. Anytime we get to spend with her we learn something valuable. And though she’s of old school ways, she’s not oblivious to new school happenings. For example, when she came to stay with us a while back I told her how challenging it is for me to get Jadon to listen and obey the first time I tell him to do something. She began, “Well when my kids were coming up…” Immediately I knew I was about to get an old school lecture on needing to be firmer and handing out more discipline for delayed obedience. But she shocked us! Instead she finished her thought with, “they didn’t have all the stuff kids have now days. These kids today have so much to pay attention to–TV, computers, iPods, cell phones–they’ve got stuff coming at them from all over the place. I’m sure it makes it more challenging to tune out other stuff and tune in completely on what their parents are saying to them.” Hollis and I sat dumfounded when she finished speaking. We knew she wasn’t excusing such behavior; but she wisely perceived how getting and keeping the same level attention from kids today is more challenging than in days gone by. We hadn’t even seen it in that light! I have so much respect for her. Love you Big Ma!

Monday we rested and prepared Jadon for his second week of school. He still thinks it’s “cool.” And riding on the bus is still a thrill for him everyday. He’s trying to grow a bit too fast though. One day when Caleb and I met him as he got off the bus, he asked “Why did you and Caleb come to the bus stop? I can walk home by myself like I did last time.” To cover my hurt feelings I said, “Well Caleb and I were out walking anyway, so we just decided to wait for you so we could all walk home together.” That seemed to be okay with him. But then a few mornings later he confronted me with, “Why do you have to stay with me until I get on the bus? I can do it by myself.” Feeling a bit slighted yet again, I just said “I know you’re ready, but I’m not!” The truth is I know he can do it. But should he? He’s only five for goodness sake! Then again he seems to have an old soul, just like his father. Yesterday he opened Caleb’s school folder that his teacher sends home with progress reports and such and said very seriously, “Hmm, let’s see how Caleb did today.” Matching his serious tone I commented, “Caleb’s teacher told me he had a very good day today.” Closing the folder, he exclaims, “That is my boy!” Then he goes over and pats Caleb on the back saying, “That is my boy! Good job! You’re going to be a big boy soon.”

And finally, news about me and Hollis. BIG news for Hollis is he’s no longer a contract employee. He’s been offered and has accepted a full time position! I am so very proud of him. We all are. It took great intelligence, tremendous diligence and persistant prayer to accomplish this at a time where folks are freezing the hiring process and/or laying off. Sigh. I only hope I can be like him when I grow up.

I start a new adventure on Monday. I’ve been hired on a temporary contract as a Web Developer/Content Manager. I don’t mind that it is temporary because it’s such an amazing and fitting step toward my new career goal (currently studying to become a SharePoint Developer). Some time ago I was discouraged about why my first attempt to return to the workforce was such a failure. The company went out of business, the owner was not able to pay me and the other employees the wages we’d earned, and Hollis and I had spent considerable money in childcare during this time. Yet the whole time I was working and praying about it, not once did I hear from God to leave. I was discouraged because the whole experience seemed pointless. It seemed the first time God allowed me to go through something that added absolutely no value to my life. But of course I should have known better. What was I working on the entire season for which I was not paid: building an intranet site using SharePoint. I trained myself how to use the tool. I initiated use of the software. I designed the site. I trained employees how to use it. I streamlined many business functions using it. I gained valuable experience with this tool during this time, but beyond that I was never compensated for the work I did. Later on other folks who had worked there sued the owner. I felt God didn’t want me involved in that, so Hollis and I opted to cut our losses and move on. Soon after I felt God telling me that I needed to be home “for right now.” It was during this time I became Caleb’s Mother Warrior in our fight to defeat autism. Later I began to sense God telling me my ”for right now” season was coming to an end. So when it ended a few weeks ago I asked God was it okay for me to go back to work. He said,

Yes.

Simply yes. That’s all I got. So I began to work to find a job. Hollis began to work to get me a job as well as to get me working harder to get hired. And it couldn’t be just any job; the position had to involve SharePoint to some degree, no matter how small. So aside the challenges a SAHM endures to reenter the work force, I was also up against a declined economy, college grads with fresher skills and, to top it off, a requirement for exposure to a specific software tool. Yeah. We both became frustrated with the search process and with each other after a while. Then one day, shortly after the boys had started to adapt to the school routine and a few days after Hollis had accepted his job offer, an email appeared in my inbox from a recruiter. She said she’d found my resume online and believed she had an opportunity I’d be interested in. Long story short, should the Lord tarry I begin that adventure the day after tomorrow. Once again–the first time was in our move to Charlotte–God has shown He’ll bless what is done in His timing. And once again I stand in awe.

Hollis laughs at me when I say he talks way more than I do. He says it’s funny how I say that but it’s usually me that ends up in lengthy conversations with total strangers. I don’t think that’s a fair measurement though because I’m hardly ever the one to start those conversations! I used to wonder why some people felt comfortable so quickly to tell me intimate details about their lives. It used to freak me out. I mean, imagine you are standing in line at a grocery store behind a perfect stranger. They turn around momentarily and eyeball you, then they turn around again and just start talking. Small talk at first. But then for no earthly reason you can fathom they began to pour their heart to you. This happens to me a lot. I even blogged about one experience back in January. Anyway I bring this up because it happened again yesterday while Hollis, the boys and I were at the park. I want to blog about it because the conversation is still haunting me.

We were on the playground with the boys and had given them the “we’re leaving in 10 minutes” heads up. Suddenly a very energetic boy came bounding in shouting “Hey guys! Wanna play?” This kid was obviously not shy. He came right up to my boys with every intention of becoming fast friends. His mom came in a few steps behind. We greeted each other and did the usual mom talk–How old are your boys? How old is yours? blah, blah, blah. And then the mysterious happened again. It doesn’t surprise me anymore; I just flow with it. She told me she really only remembers the past four years of her life. She was once an executive, a top salesperson, a mover and a shaker of a huge, well-known corporation. One day, shortly after giving birth to her son, she flew overseas with the corporation’s president to conduct a sales meeting. She did her presentation, flew home, went to sleep that night and didn’t wake up for months. She had lapsed into a coma. When she finally came out of the coma she had little to no memory of her life. She was introduced to her husband but she could only remember her first husband’s name. They brought in her infant son and she asked whose baby was he. Of course she had to resign from her job and has been instead a stay-at-home mom these past four years.

As soon as she started speaking, in my spirit I heard “Pray!” As I listened to her it was brought to my remembrance revelation God gave me a long time ago about memories. He ministered to me how memories are very important and very powerful. Throughout scripture He pointed out to me how often He instructed people to remember this or forget that. Memories can encourage you forward or hold you back. Just this Sunday Pastor Troy brought up how being rooted in bad memories can cancel your destiny. I do realize her story is a tragedy. But in another sense I began to wonder What on earth could be so important about this woman’s destiny that God would allow such drastic measures to erase her memories in order that she reach it? To look at her she didn’t have the appearance of the person she said she once was. All such bravado was gone. Instead she came across to me as humble, vulnerable and transparent. She even told me her first husband abused her terribly “but this husband is really nice to me.” She never mentioned her husband’s name; she just kept referring to him as “this husband.” That did make me sad, that she could obviously remember the hate from her past but hadn’t fully comprehended the love in her present. I just had to pray for her. Even though Hollis had distracted the boys as long as he could so I could have this uninterrupted conversation and was giving me the “we really need to get home to prepare for tomorrow” signals, I couldn’t just walk away. So I just blurted “Can I pray for you?! Nothing weird or anything, I just want to talk with God about you.” She said yes, and right there before her I talked to the God of even our memories and asked Him to heal her mind, and according to His wisdom to give her back the memories that will encourage her destiny. There’s got to be a reason for all that has happened to her and to them as a family. She mentioned they don’t have a church home but she really wants one. I told her about Freedom House and I hope even if she never visits that she, her husband and son will find another great church. 

So since she doesn’t have a church family to be in constant conversation with her and for her, so I’m soliciting prayers on her behalf. If you think about it, if this story sticks with you like it’s stuck with me, please talk with God about her. He knows her name.